| Wednesday, August 10, 2005 |
| writing, writing, writing |
I'm about 90% finished with my first draft. I'm SO glad I emailed Wilfred (I've decided to drop the Please-Just-Call-Me. It's getting kinda old) to clarify some doubts and that he told me that'd be no extension! Otherwise, I couldn't have started! Maybe wouldn't, as well. I'm also so glad for all the practice I got in JC for GP! It's good to know at least I learnt something in JC, despite doing spectacularly badly. I'm also glad that I always managed to do well for GP - my favourite teacher Mrs Goh liked to give out chocolates to those who did well and I was always getting them. But really, favourable experiences like that really help me now. Like, it's challenging, but I know my strength is in writing and even if I'm not particularly knowledgeable (for that I can do research), I have always been told that I write in a simple but clear yet also interesting manner.
I can't believe I'm enjoying school this much. I've never really enjoyed school except for the past 7 years except when I was doing humanities subjects, especially English, Lit. and the like. Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if I had chosen to enter the Arts stream in JC instead of Science. Or studied much harder at P6 and gotten into a really good school in RGS? My whole life might have been different! Most probably I wouldn't have the same friends I have now, and I wouldn't trade them for any other. I wouldn't trade me life for any other person's too, even though sometimes I get envious. I wouldn't trade the experience I have either, because it's brought me to where I am and I like where I am now.
I like who I am now, too. Of course there's still much room for improvement. Many more hard knocks and lessons to come. But also blessings to experience.
Thank You Jesus. : ) I really couldn't have come this far without You.
Now for the fun part. I went to buy dinner just now and there is this mixed rice stall that I frequent because the food's really nice (the fried omelette is esp. good, tastes like the zhi char kind, and not greasy at all) and quite cheap. Also for some reason they always have these gorgeous creatures tending the stall. Maybe they hire male models to attract business, I don't know. Ok I exaggerate, it's not all the time. But the first time I went to buy from them, there were about 3 or 4 guys tending the stall and they were all lookers! Except for one of them I think. One of them started to recognise me after I went there a few times. I think he was in his early 30s, but really good-looking. Once after I hadn't gone for a while he asked me how come I hadn't come for so long. The silliest thing is, after my 'A' level results came out I stopped going to the stall cos' I was afraid he'd ask me how I did! Silly. Now he doesn't work there anymore.
Of course, they all talk like ah bengs and have tattoos and dyed hair, some even got piercings!!
Nowadays there is this young man who looks about 18 or 19, maybe 20. He could be older, I donno. But he's just like the quiet moody mysterious sort in Japanese comics, like Liu Chuan Fong (I've forgotten his Jap name) of Slam Dunk (used to be crazy about it, read the entire series) and What's-His-Name of F4, the one who doesn't talk. But seriously, his eyes can kill people! Haha. I sound so guy-crazy now hor. And I'm talking in Singlish, so bimbo. Lol. Anyway, he has got these beautiful eyes, quite big for a guy, and very elegantly-shaped. I don't know how to describe. He should go model. I think he looks a bit like Sebastian from the Superstar show, only the bigger, more grown-up bad boy version.
He has a tattoo on this arm like a thick arm band. I wonder if they get reformed gang members to work at the food court, cos' the stall next to them has people who are also tattooed and all, only not good-looking one.
Then there's the noodle stall which has some kind of award for Nasi Lemak / Wanton Mee, only they don't sell Nasi Lemak. The people tending the stall keep changing, like the mixed rice stall. I always buy chicken feet noodles from them. Lately the quality is really blah though. A long time ago they had this uncle who looked like he was in his 50s, but he looked really good for his age, you know like the Richard Gere type. He was very funny and charismatic. His eyes were a weird colour, blue-ish. Maybe he was Eurasian or wore coloured contacts - but if it's the latter then I must say that is really weird for an ah pek. So hiao! Then there was this other uncle who looked like he was in his late 30s, he looked like James Dean! I'm not joking. He was also very charismatic, liked to tease people. Once I called him uncle and he went, What uncle! Still so handsome what! And struck a pose. Then after that he said, Ok I got to admit that I am really much older than you. Lol.
Haha he sounds really bhb when I say it like that. Actually I found him a bit scary, you never know what he's gonna say and I might not know what to say back. I think he's quite the playboy.
It's funny how at this food court you get so many interesting and good-looking male characters. And usually they produce good food too! Do I sound disgusting talking about uncles. But they really are good-lookers what! You know, like Fei Xiang is really good-looking and he's 44, I think. I think there are many good-looking uncles at Elias Mall. Even the photoshop one, who's very nice. Being in the food business, though, these gorgeous men are usually in these dirty and/or ratty t-shirts, very unglam. I went to the mixed rice stall today, and the beautiful boy was there. I looked everywhere to not be rude in case I ended up staring (he has mesmerising eyes), and saw that the bottom of his shirt was really dirty...gross. He shouldn't be wearing stuff like this!
You know, I find it amazing how beautiful the human body can be. I mean females as well. In fact, most of the time I prefer to look at females. I especially like to look at magazine pictures, like coverstory pictures and stuff. Even if they're wearing skimpy clothes, underwear and bikinis. I don't know why, I just like to look at beautiful women. The other day on the train I sat opposite this lady who had really beautiful creamy porcelain skin and a rosebud mouth. I was so mesmerised I kept staring at her! She also had really soft-looking wavy hair. I took a picture of her with my camera phone (secretly of course) cos' I thought I might show my hairdresser that this is the kind of hairstyle I want. Her hair was so nice! Really soft and feminine and romantic. Actually I really like wavy hair, which I do have, but it's always going frizzy and sticking up in all the wrong places, at the wrong angles. Hers was just beautiful. I still remember how she looks.
Talking about the human body, I think hands and feet are so interesting. Everyone has different hands and feet, and they tell a story about their owners!
I love watching the model reality shows on Ch 5. Oh they are trashy and some of them aren't very beautiful, really, but I love seeing the finished works of photgraphy.
You know they say how we are constantly bombarded by these unrealistic pictures (probably airbrushed too!) of skinny beautiful people with perfect hair and skin and teeth and bodies. In fact I was watching this documentary on girls with eating disorders in Singapore. There was this girl who was already 39 kg (she's 160 cm tall) and she wants to be 34 kg! Wow. How distorted can her view of ideal beauty get?
I suppose for young impressionable girls it's very easy to fall into this trap. I, too once believed it. I thought only good-looking people got attached and married, and thought I'd be lonely forever cos' I was ugly. Now I know the truth: 1) Everyone can get married if they find a suitable partner, regardless of looks and sometimes even character. 2) I was never ugly, I just needed a makeover! 3) I will never be lonely because Jesus is with me all the time.
But as I'm learning in COM1020, you can blame it all on the media. Audiences are individuals who have the ability to wisely choose, interpret and incorporate media messages into their lives. How they do so, however, is subject to their culture and social settings, and though the text doesn't mention, I believe a person's character is important as well. I think what is really imperative is to bring up young people with self-confidence and healthy self-images! You can achieve so much with confidence.
That said, I'm thankful that I have a healthy self-image of myself now. I like how I look. I'm still working towards my ideal body shape (I don't care about the weight as long as I look good!) and the workouts are doing me an immense amount of good, not just physically but mentally as well. And if I am to be this shape forever, it's ok too cos' at least I no longer think I'm fat. Can you believe I used to think I was fat?? I even wrote in an essay in JC (think it was on beauty) that I was "on the plus side". My dear teacher Mrs Goh wrote, "You are??" Funny how everyone could see that I wasn't, yet I thought I was. So I'm not thin and not exactly slim too, but I'm not fat. Actually I'm quite pleased with my body except for some areas. Which person on earth loves every part of his/her body? Even beautiful people have some flaws.
Woah. It's really late. So tata! ;D |
posted by esther @ 11:19 PM  |
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| 2 Comments: |
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interesting :)
renewed perspective can be a real thrill.
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interesting :)
renewed perspective can be a real thrill.