| Wednesday, July 27, 2005 |
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Did not accomplish much today, though I managed to stock up on 2 hours of reading and note-taking, and understood fairly well what I was reading.
Been waking up later nowadays, at 9 plus (last week was an average of 8 plus), which I don't think is very good for me; too much sleep makes me groggy the whole day (I sleep at around 12 everyday now). Better get up at 8 tomorrow.
I think I'm in danger of stressing up too much even before I've had my first lesson! And going slightly nutty being in the house all by myself all day studying, so going to Sheena's tomorrow. Yet at the same time I think I need to have quality time at home studying by myself, so I think I should alternate between studying at home and at Sheena's. Probably when lessons really start (on Friday) I'll spend more time in the library doing research and stuff. Hopefully with some new friends.
I felt quite awful today, just generally lethargic and a bit depressed. I think I'm PMS-ing. =/ But could be also due to the fact that I've been having little interaction with people, cooping myself up with my books all day. I've come to realise that whenever I do this, I have a tendency to become irritable, withdrawn, depressed and cynical. It gets even worse when I'm not productive, but THANK GOD, I have been more productive, I think, in these past few days than I have been (and longed to be) for the past few years. I am not kidding.
But I think I need to take a step back, or rather, take a step out of the house and interact with people.
All in all, though, things are pretty good. I'm coming to realise that I can be diligent and hardworking and disciplined if I really really set my heart to it. I'm going for my daily jogs and eating healthier and studying. For some it's no big deal, but for me, it is! Thank God, really. I couldn't have done it without Him.
I have been feeling rather weird lately though. Like kind of displaced and not knowing where I belong, dispassionate, emotionless. I can't really describe it. A little lost. Skeptical. |
posted by esther @ 10:18 PM  |
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