I have a lot of things to say. Not sure which ones I should, and which ones I shouldn't. It's been a pretty fulfilling and fruitful holiday so far. I've managed a few minor milestones, one of which is keeping up the habit of sleeping, waking up, and exercising at a regular time everyday. By the end of this week I think I'd have managed some more minor milestones. :)
Recently something happened that had a lot of significance to me, but I don't think any of my friends realises just how big it was for me because they don't understand how invested I am in it. But it was like a tiny spark in the dark, at least in that area of my life. I'm not sure what to do about it. As exciting as it was (I really never thought it would ever happen), it also makes me scared because I don't want things to get screwed up again. I say 'again' because, well, it sort of happened once before and things got screwed up. Ok I'm sounding very cryptic I know, but I can't say what exactly it is lah. Life is good, really. I am very, very, very, very, very, blessed, even though I don't always feel that way. I still have many questions (with no answers as yet) for the future, but I have this feeling I'll eventually realise that I never needed those answers anyway. All I'll ever need is Him. He who sees his beloved (me) far off in the distance and unhesitatingly runs towards me, caring not about whether He looks like a madman to others, wraps the best robe around me, then throws a party to welcome me home even though I am the one who has done Him wrong and left Him in the first place. And doesn't even give me a chance to say I'm sorry, because He's too busy rejoicing that I'm back. He who doesn't just cancel my debt, but pays for it with His own flesh and blood, then offers me a room in His house, and free access, no strings attached, to everything He has. Now who can beat that? |
