| Sunday, September 03, 2006 |
| I just realised... |
I like the way I am now. Not that I'm perfect now; not that my life is perfect now, either.
Actually I realised this years ago, but sometimes things happen or I get into one of those extraordinarily funky moods, and I forget, and revert to my old way of thinking. Interestingly, though, the last time I realised that I like myself the way I am now, I wasn't the person I am now. Yet in all of these times there has always been a common denomination: Christ. I have found myself again and again in Christ. Because He loves me the way I am, warts (I mean this metaphorically of course =P) and all.
Oh, there are threads of the self I was before Christ, still. They will always be there, I think. Amazing, to think, that He loved me even then, when I couldn't. Are there things about my past I would change? Gosh, I don't know, and I'm glad I'll never be able to change my past. I've seen a great deal of things, perhaps more than an average person, that could have made me bitter and jaded. But He saved me, thank God; isn't it the most horrible thing in the world to die bitter and jaded.
I have gained perspective, I guess. Perhaps even wisdom. I don't fear the emotional and spiritual aspects of growing old; in fact, I think it would be wonderful to see more things, have more experiences, gain yet more perspective and wisdom. I'll always have Him, whom I can always come to as a child. All the more to burrow even deeper into His infinite wisdom and grace. When I read about things like wrinkles and sagging skin and crow's feet, though, I cringe a bit. It's really hard to imagine, since I have none of these things now. No wonder people have mid-life crises, no wonder puberty is confusing and sometimes angst-filled. Strange to see your body undergoing these changes and acquiring a new look!
Then again, I guess perspective will take care of that. :) |
posted by esther @ 2:07 AM  |
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| 5 Comments: |
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changed :)
haa it's a good testimony to see this...
hw r ya these days ?
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hihi, thanks for the comment :)
i've been great these days, really. extraordinarily blessed, just as you are! :)
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glad to hear that qing.
i still remember i haven got the purpose driven life bk from ya!!! hope to get it soon. :P
anywayz take care ..
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how sad... you have not been blogging....
: )
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hi jason please check friendster...sent you a msg.
who are you anonymous? :) were you the one who commented on the post about the 'bald ugly man' too? hmmmm...
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changed :)
haa it's a good testimony to see this...
hw r ya these days ?