| Friday, October 29, 2004 |
| He Said |
So I was in a crummy mood last night and the earlier part of today. I think I should not talk to people online when I'm in a crummy mood, because I end up saying many silly crazy foolish things that I'd rather not have. Yet it’s during those times when I want to tell somebody. Somebody human.
Well, He spoke just now. Not directly to what I was grappling with, but it hit me right smack in the chest. He ministered.
I used to wonder how I would know if it was God speaking, or just me. I think I've come to recognise His voice now. It's those words that just hit me "pah!" in the chest, and take my breath away, literally. Then I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that it's Him.
Having lunch just now, I was watching this weird cartoon (While Iron Chef was on commercial break – yes, I watch Iron Chef and I love it!) in which these two kids were trying to save their cow with the help of a little mouse called Dingo Mouse which was a banana (kids’ shows are odd) but got turned into a mouse by Badjelly the witch, who was also the one who stole their cow.
There was also an eagle called Jim (muahahaha). Somewhere near the end of the story, when the eagle and the children and the mouse were hiding in a cloud and the evil witch was circling around it, God suddenly came into the picture. O.o They didn’t draw Him. He was just this voice. God pointed His finger at Badjelly and the witch puffed up and exploded into purple smoke.
The significance of it all didn't occur to me until the scene when the eagle was flying them home with the horns of the poor cow clutched in its talons (must have been a very uncomfortable ride) when I heard Him.
"They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." [Isaiah 40:31; in context]
Only God can touch me this way with a cartoon which made me roll my eyes quite a few times at its lameness.
The other day, taking a study break, I went to the window and saw these puffy towers of clouds in the sky. "Be not afraid," He said.
On yet another day, I asked Him what was the key to it all. He came right back, with no hesitation.
"Obey."
One word: Obey. A command. Simple and clear-cut. Maybe even a little curt, like the other time when He told me I was blabbering too much and not listening enough. But it touched me somewhere deep inside and I started sobbing. I still don't exactly know why, really. What I do know is that there are many blessings to be found in obedience. =)
I’ve been running to Him a lot. I wondered if this was a sign of weakness, this having to run to Him at the slightest bit of distress. Then I realised – He wants me to run to Him at the slightest bit of distress. (Who else would entertain my stupidity this way? Haha.) And He is glad that that I know who to run to. It even pleases Him, what the heck. I please Him, just the way I am. I am stupid and weak and foolish and He loves me. Who else would love me, could love me like this? And the most wonderful thing is, in Him I am strong and wise.
(That's why I can unabashedly tell the world that I am stupid and weak and foolish. I have Him.) |
posted by esther @ 3:22 PM  |
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| 3 Comments: |
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