| Thursday, March 27, 2008 |
| Throwing caution to the wind... |
Is not something I normally do. But I find that I've been doing that more lately. Well, not in my studies or in my work of course. Those two things seem to be the only constants in my life now, my anchors. And they're good, really good. I enjoy my classes even though I whine about having to go for them, and I enjoy my work even though I whine about having to get up early. (Such a bloody ingrate lol)
Life feels good, right here, right now. I have questions about my future and my (recent) past, but I am, for the moment, content to let these questions rest. Life is unpredictable, you can plan all you want but it always surprises you. Where was it that I heard, that making plans was the best way to make God laugh? I like the idea of that, and how true - for a believer.
I am enjoying my compulsiveness, strangely. Up till now I've tried to live life as well thought-through as possible; I disliked making decisions on the spur, and I disliked doing things without a thought about the consequences.
But for once, I want to be petulant, I want to be careless, I want to be rash, I want to grab the things that I want without thinking so much about whether ultimately they're good for me or not. I want. I want to be swept away by the waves of life. I want to live in the here and now. I want to live like the teenager I never was.
I don't want to be afraid anymore. I don't want to ponder my past and wonder if I should have done things differently, and I don't want to worry about my uncertain future.
I want. That is all. |
posted by esther @ 1:22 AM  |
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| 2 Comments: |
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what an awesome entry.
-Sarah
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look forward! take risks!
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what an awesome entry.
-Sarah