| Monday, October 16, 2006 |
| "I forgot I am flesh." |
I'm back!
Last Friday, October the 13th, was my 21st birthday. I know it's common superstition that not only is 13 is an unlucky number, and Friday the 13th is doubly unlucky! Personally, I think all superstition is rubbish, because I am greatly loved and protected! I need not live under unnecessary fear of the unknown. Evil has no power over me. :)
Well, I celebrated my birthday with my parents, Sheena and Hannah. After Bible Study on Thursday my parents picked us up and sent us all to my home. Celebrations included a lot of bubble-blowing and sparklers. (The sparklers were kind of lousy though, they gave out a lot of nasty-smelling smoke and only the red ones looked red.) I know, so kiddy right! But I feel young! And these things are so fun.
Had a really good time that night, even though I did nothing crazy or extravagant or out-of-the-world. We did very tame things as described above and looked through silly old pictures and videos on my laptop. We also shared two tubs of Ben & Jerry's ice cream! Haha! Hannah had to sleep early because she had school the next day. Then Sheena asked me to pluck her eyebrows (my first time!). It was pretty weird at first since I was for the first time in my life deliberately inflicting physical pain on someone else, but I got used to it at the end and I think I did a pretty good job!
Oh, on Tuesday I watched three movies: The Departed; You, Me, & Dupree; and Death Note (in that order). Three very different movies really. I think in the first I heard the most vulgar words I've ever heard in a month, and between the first and the last I saw enough people die onscreen than I've ever seen in a year! Haha...not to say they aren't good though. I think they're all worth watching. My favourite was The Departed - I liked the fast pacing and the emotional dilemnas of the two main characters. A lot of people die in this film, but unlike typical blockbusters, it actually is important to the plot that these people died! Dupree was very enjoyable and unpretentious. The last was absolutely freaky. I'm sure everyone has seen the ads on TV, so I'm not gonna explain the plot. But if you're an anime/Jap-related stuff fan, better to check out the original anime on YouTube - it's got better plot and characterisation. Probably due to the longer amount of time afforded for such things in a series. :)
Lastly, Thanks to all my friends who wished me a happy birthday (belated or not), by phone, SMS, or email. Next Tuesday I'm gonna be having a little BBQ too.
Now that I'm 21, I actually feel just the same. I've already blogged about this, and it's late, so I shan't talk about it again.
Anyway, the title of this entry actually has nothing to do with my birthday, but I know my loyal readers would surely want to know! xP
The title of this entry is actually a line in a testimony shared by Pastor today. He was reading aloud a testimony from a Japanese lady, who recounted as she stood in the wonderful mansion God had given her that she "forgot I am flesh". There's just no way to paraphrase this line - it's wonderful even in its grammatical error (it should be "I forgot I was flesh"). I don't know if she meant it that way when she wrote it, but it's true - I am flesh. I am flesh all the time, whether I am conscious of it or not, whether I like it or not. When I say this I mean that I am a spirit encased in flesh 24/7. I was not flesh yesterday and spirit today.
I forgot I am flesh. Such a simple, quiet sentence, with no flowery details or bombastic words. But the ideas impregnated within! It just blew me away. I can't find the words to explain it, and why it's so profound to me, and yet makes so much sense. Inexplicable, ineffable. I think it's poetry all on its own. Sometimes what is not spoken or seen is so much more powerful than what is tangible.
Now I would like to live each day as if I don't even know that I am flesh, or have flesh! It's doubly hard when PMS strikes, which I think it did a couple of days or so ago. On my birthday week, some more! (Haha, sometimes Singlish just expresses it so much better.) Last night I literally stewed a long time under the shower, brimming over with negative thoughts. But suddenly, a thought came to me (probably from God!): Every moment I spend being happy is a moment spent victorious, because God wants me to be happy.
To elaborate, I think this is what Paul meant when he said to rejoice in our sufferings. We know we can be joyful no matter what the circumstances are because we have hope in Christ, which does not disappoint! I think when I realised that, I had my own moment of forgetting my flesh.
The (good-looking, well-dressed xP) man sitting beside me in service today raised his hand for the altar call to receive Christ. I was so happy I actually felt like shaking his friend's and his hand and congratulating them, but I didn't, of course. It's such a joyous thing to witness someone giving their life over to Christ, and to know that God was knocking on his heart while I sat, oblivious to it all. To be honest, his presence was a bit distracting. The seats in the auditorium are pretty close together afterall.
The last time someone near me responded to the altar call, it was a lady sitting in front of me on the floor. I had been feeling very blessed because someone in the VIP section had actually given up two seats for me and Sheena, and I thought of giving her mine, because it's terrible to have to sit on the floor when the place is too crowded. In the end I didn't, and felt a bit guilty for it, but was comforted when someone eventually gave her a seat too. And I was really happy when I saw her receive Christ too!
The funny thing was that in both cases I was thinking about both people and being distracted by thoughts of them before they both raised their hands. Weird, ain't it? Coincidence? It's not even like I knew whether they were already believers even though I detected an aura of "feeling a bit uncomfortable" from both of them initially.
Ah, nevermind, it's hard to explain and I have to go and sleep already. Good night! :) |
posted by esther @ 2:17 AM  |
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| 2 Comments: |
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extremely late but Happy Birthday.
sorry cant attend ye BBQ, have fun ya :)
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You're a good eyebrow plucker. =D
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extremely late but Happy Birthday.
sorry cant attend ye BBQ, have fun ya :)