| Tuesday, October 05, 2004 |
| heart.garden. |
心 。园
My heart is a garden, which God bestowed upon me when He created me. He has made it to be the centre of my being – if it withered, I would die too. He has allowed me total access to all corners of this garden – He has made it wholly mine. He lets me do with it as I wish, but I know His deepest hope is that I tend it well, because I will delight in its fruits and blossoms, and He delights in my joy. I love this beautiful garden that He has made for me. I know it will serve me well as long as I tend to it diligently. But most of all, I love Him, for He loved me first.
In this garden He has planted many seeds. Some are still dormant, awaiting the right conditions and the right season to germinate. Some are in the process of doing so. Others have just developed seedlings which are only just poking their fragile heads out of the soil tentatively. Some others have already blossomed and are blooming and growing fruit.
As in any garden, there are weeds in mine. I must always be very careful about them or my garden will be strangled by these parasites. Have you ever wondered if weeds ever serve a purpose? As much as I loathe them, I believe they do. They teach us to be disciplined about our gardens and to be ever vigilant, as I’ve learnt by experience. Sometimes it’s such hard work controlling the weed population that I want to give up. But if I only ask, God then comes and teaches me what to do – the ultimate Master Gardener, my ever present help. He has always come whenever I needed Him. Of course, there are times when I behave like a total smart aleck and refuse to heed His advice, which only lands me and my garden in more trouble.
The biggest problem I have is this pest called Satan. He is the pest of all pests. He carries many bad seeds and germs, which he tries to sow in my garden whenever I am not on guard. Sometimes, he disguises himself as a beautiful butterfly, and I am fooled if I do not realize soon enough that the colours on this butterfly are so bright they signal disaster. Sometimes he is a chameleon, blending in so well that I don’t notice him. Many times I’ve had to have the Master Gardener Himself point it out for me.
There are a few weeds in my garden that I have a lot of trouble with. They are called Envy, Jealousy, Anger, Bitterness and Insecurity. Actually, they all belong to the same species which can be traced back to Insecurity. When I was careless, some leaves on the Insecurity weed developed buds which dropped off, and because the soil in which these weeds grow is so dry and and poisonous and acrid, the buds mutated into other forms. These weeds really grow like nobody’s business, and I have to be really careful. Satan is always hanging around them trying to sow even more seeds of their kind.
Alright, enough about that. I want to tell you about this very very special seed that is still dormant. Actually, at times I’m not sure if it hasn’t already started germinating – it’s buried so deep down that I cannot tell. To attempt to unearth it to see would damage it permanently. This seed is rather mysterious; the Master Gardener simply tells me it is not the right time for it to germinate yet and tells me to be patient. Sometimes I get rather frustrated, really. Even the Manual that the Master Gardener has given me for quick and easy reference doesn’t tell me much about it. What I know of it, though, makes me really really want to see it grow and blossom.
The Master Gardener tells me I must not fret over it. He says it is not at all easy to cultivate this plant, and it requires two people to do it well. And I’m not supposed to just grab anybody off the street for help, either. In the past I’ve opened my garden gates to strangers whom I thought was that special helper. I’ve seen friends do the same, only to have these strangers scoff at their garden and trample on their plants. Most of the time they have no idea what this seed is. Never heard of it, they say. Some of them don’t even know who the Master Gardener is! Or they shrink from the huge responsibility of it, or just plain ignore the hapless owner of the garden. In my case that is what keeps happening.
This special helper, the Master Gardener says, has to be someone whose garden is very healthy. He has to be an excellent gardener who knows his own garden as well as the One who gave it to Him. And besides, the Master Gardener often reminds me gravely, my own garden is not up to standard yet. It is in the process of becoming so, He assures me gently, but not yet. A good and fruitful garden is hard to cultivate well.
Furthermore, I must help this person to cultivate this seed in his garden as well. Actually, it’s not just this seed – we are supposed to combine our gardens and tend this combined garden together as co-workers. When the Master Gardener reminds me of that I am struck again by how big a responsibility this is. Still I look forward to that challenge. He will have plants in his garden that I’ve never seen before, and vice versa. We will even sow new seeds and grow them together. It’s going to be so much fun doing this!
When? When will he come? I ask in excitement. Oops. I have neglected to realize that a new weed called Impatience has popped out of the soil. The Master Gardener grabs the new weed out of the ground. I’ll tell you when the time is come, He said. Only I know the answer to that. You can ask other people, and they can give you guidelines, but only I can tell you when exactly that time is. Then you can open the gates of your garden and let your helper come in. It is not good for you to be alone. You need help with this, He said softly.
I nod. For the time being, I guess I’ll be content with what I already have. Occasionally, some of my friends pop in – and some supervisors appointed by the Master Gardener Himself – to help me clear some weeds and cultivate some plants. They are excellent company, and I don’t know what I’ll do if they hadn’t been sent to help me, really. Sometimes I get to go over to other people’s gardens and help them too.
Still, many times I cannot help but wonder who this special helper is, and how his garden is. I wonder if, perhaps, I already know him. The Master Gardener told me that the right person coming in the wrong season is as good as the wrong person anyway.
Sometimes, too, in moments of stress, when my garden seems to be falling down all around me, I wonder if I’ll ever find that special helper that the Master Gardener has promised me, or whether I’ll be ignored without so much as a second glance yet again. But that is only foolishness, I know. The Master Gardener loves me too much to deny me what I want. And He never breaks promises.
I must remember, this special seed thrives on the well-being of all the other plants in my garden. It cannot flourish in an unhealthy garden. I am also told that when it grows into a plant, the other plants will also thrive on its well-being. Apparently, it’s a two-way thing. So I must stop chattering now and go pick some weeds.
When I find my special helper, I’ll have a big party and I’ll be sure to invite you to come and see this wonderful plant! The thought of it is making me so excited already….!!!!
(Oh cripes, I see Impatience growing again!) |
posted by esther @ 6:39 PM  |
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| 3 Comments: |
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