| Tuesday, December 06, 2005 |
|
I've added two links that I wanna talk about.
Good Christian Boy [http://goodchristianboy.modblog.com/]
A link I got from Lisye. Laughed like mad when I saw the title - who on earth calls himself a good christian boy??? No matter how much the phrase is used within Christian circles (prime eg., "Find yourself a good christian guy" which I find rather a rather tired thing to say because...nevermind that). Under his blog title, though, he puts "Blog of a Flawed Guy Trying to Get it Right", which makes up for the almost-pompousness of the main title. I like the writing, the honesty, the thoughtfulness. He never pretends that everything is a bed of roses, which sometimes I struggle with because I want to be a good testimony.
"The essence of my faith depends entirely on me possessing the substance of hope, and so that substance I have. But I will always be cynical about the world. The world doesn’t have Jesus and so I have every reason to expect the worst from it. It’s a strange tension that I’m only now beginning to understand.
It’s like walking into a field full of mines with a fistful of mustard seeds ready to be grown into trees. They can blow off my legs but they can’t stop the trees from growing."
The last line, to me, was pretty mind-blowing.
Celibate in the City [http://celibateinthecity.blogspot.com/]
Been following this blog for a long time, though I've never linked it until now. It used to be a collection of dating stories by a single Mormon woman, but she's stopped blogging those stories for a long time, being too depressed to do so. I don't think she dates anymore, by the way. Her most recent post was surprisingly touching:
"So I lay my broken heart at the foot of the Savior's cross. Let Him do with it what He will. I can not save myself. I am not good enough, not strong enough, not enough. I have run out of ideas, my strength is spent, my pride broken, my worldly designs lay fallow, even my faith has faltered. I am nothing. But if God still loves me, then what's left of me is for Him; heal me or damn me, I offer no resistance. My life, my will is His.
Even in this state, that is not an easy thing to say. I have clung greedily to my life--determined to squeeze everything I could out of it. Hautily assured that I knew what was right for me. I have kept the commandments but set my heart on the world. And I found nothing there but grief. I can see this now. I have selfishly pursued my own goals and continually ran from people who needed me. If I am truly to give my heart back to God, this will not be easy. But my choices at this point are to sink into mad isolation or put my faith and my life into God's hands. ....
The disingenuity of returning a broken gift to the Giver is not lost on me: 'Here God, my life sucks now so I'm dedicating it to you. I'm good for nothing, but I'm all yours!' Yikes."
I can totally relate, because I've done the same old thing so many times, only to find that my only way out is the One I should turned to first and foremost. Yet it is so tempting, so easy, to run around like an idiot and try to take matters into my own hands, to solve them using prescribed formulas offered by the world. To turn to material things and other people for comfort, validation, approval.
But thank God, He loves us so much He never turns away when we seek Him. And I can always come home to Him. After three years of many ups and downs, answered prayers and still unfulfilled desires, I'm glad and grateful that He's still the One (as in the Shania Twain song). =) |
posted by esther @ 3:51 PM  |
|
| 2 Comments: |
-
u got me laughing like crazy from the third line on... haha
-
haha! we both know the hidden meanings behind that right. lol.
|
| |
| << Home |
| |
|
|
u got me laughing like crazy from the third line on... haha