| Monday, May 09, 2005 |
| Mothers' Day |
Mothers' Day can be an uncomfortable time for me. Because as much as I love my mother, I find it hard to express in physical ways. What's stopping me? I really don't know. The mawkishness of saying those three words, maybe, that I do mean. Bitterness? Disappointment?
She refused to come for service today, which made me upset. Said she doesn't like to sing songs and they make her want to sleep, and she has nothing in common to talk about with the people at church. True. I see that too. Some things I never understood, until I started working at the shop. Some things my church brothers and sisters will never understand, as well-meaning as I know they are, unless they've been there before. She finds it hard, even irritating, to talk to people who don't understand. But then again...we don't always have to understand someone to love that person do we? We can't expect everyone to understand us all the time do we? Would we then cut off the chances of a wonderful friendship with that person just because they don't understand?
Really, aren't they all excuses in the end. The week leading up to Sunday was quite awful. I actually felt sick to my stomach thinking of how those who'd brought their moms would be happy and how I'd feel totally awful because mine isn't there. I really didn't want to go, but I was to be on duty. When I finally asked her, she said she'd come at the end at first, but later changed her mind.
To be honest, sometimes I envy those whose moms have accepted Christ. I think about my own, how jaded and fixed her perception of life is. It's almost impossible, it seems to think that one day she could and would see past all the wrongs that have been done her, and see Jesus on the cross. And open her heart finally where He's been waiting so long.
I fear that I may have to live with the painful regret that my mom never accepted salvation and will be away from His presence for eternity.
Yesterday, when she changed her mind, I was so upset I cried. Not in front of her of course. But somehow in the midst of that arose a conviction to not give up. Because I believe in miracles. Because I remembered how I thought I would never believe, but now do. And I remembered people I know whose lives were steeped in sin who now live for Him too. And people who were jaded and cold too, who now live for Him. If that can happen for us, why not my mom? He loves her the same way.
So I prayed that Satan would not have my parents in the name of Jesus, amen.
Still today, I felt awful when they brought out the kaya for the mums present. My mom loves kaya. I felt so horrid then I teared. I wanted to just go out of the place then. Stupid kaya. But after that they gave a container of it to every woman there (12 and above). So my mom got the kaya as well. She had to complain that it wasn't thick enough, but well. She's still my mother. I think next to God she is the person who loves me most in this world. Perhaps need is mixed with the love, but well.
So Happy Mother's Day to all mothers, whether married or single, young or old. You are all beautiful. Happy Mother's Day to my mommy and my 'second' mommy - Aunty Mary. I didn't do anything to deserve your two daughters as my own sisters, and not for you to see me as a third daughter (though the middle one, haha) as well. When she held my hands today when I went to her after service, I think she rubbed away the frustration I was having about my own mom not being there. I'd be so happy the day she accepts Christ, too. Blessed is the child who is loved by her own kin, but even more blessed is the one who is ALSO loved and accepted to be kin by people who're not related to her by blood.
Last but not least, Happy Mother's Day to God as well, the One who said in Isaiah 66:13, "As one whom his mother comforts, So I will comfort you". Father, Mother, Brother, Best Friend, Master, Saviour, Husband, Lover... He is my All-in-One indeed! ;D ;D ;D ;D |
posted by esther @ 12:05 AM  |
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| 9 Comments: |
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" But then again...we don't always have to understand someone to love that person do we? We can't expect everyone to understand us all the time do we? Would we then cut off the chances of a wonderful friendship with that person just because they don't understand?"
Yup. You don't have to understand a person fully to love. Because love is something beyond understanding in all.
On the other hand, understanding is good as it helps you love a person better.
Love is great. I believe those who are receiving it will always benefit from it. So take heart mdm!
"Blessed is the child who is loved by her own kin, but even more blessed is the one who is ALSO loved and accepted to be kin by people who're not related to her by blood. "
Right on. ^^ I can relate with that.
"So I will comfort you". Father, Mother, Brother, Best Friend, Master, Saviour, Husband, Lover... He is my All-in-One indeed! ;D ;D ;D ;D "
haa husband?? dear that's a erm erm i dunno ... haa *lost of words*
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cute entry =p I felt that it was touching, bittersweet, yet funny as well
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Jason:
He is my Husband because the church is His bride and He is the bridegroom remember? I forgot what verse says that. I think in Revelations. So even if you're a guy, you're still a bride...lol! XP
Actually I regard Jesus as my Boyfriend as well. Like I said He is my All-in-One lah! He is everyone who loves me, in the love of everyone who gives it to me.
Haha just had a weird idea - when I have a boyfriend next time, I'd be dating someone who has Jesus in him. Kinda like a 2-in-1! Haha so in a way, am I not dating Jesus as well because the love that my boyfriend will give me will stem ultimately from His! Woohoo!
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Hi Liz! Actually after I wrote that I was a little worried that I'd put my mom in a bad light. I didn't right? :P Anyway, thanks for your comment. =D
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But then again...we don't always have to understand someone to love that person do we? We can't expect everyone to understand us all the time do we? Would we then cut off the chances of a wonderful friendship with that person just because they don't understand?"
To love deeply, I feel we have to understand the person. In every aspect that we can. Though not in it's entirety, but the effort, and acceptance in that process, for what you don't understnad and what you do understand. That then is true love. I feel lah.
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" But then again...we don't always have to understand someone to love that person do we? We can't expect everyone to understand us all the time do we? Would we then cut off the chances of a wonderful friendship with that person just because they don't understand?"
Yup. You don't have to understand a person fully to love. Because love is something beyond understanding in all.
On the other hand, understanding is good as it helps you love a person better.
Love is great. I believe those who are receiving it will always benefit from it. So take heart mdm!
"Blessed is the child who is loved by her own kin, but even more blessed is the one who is ALSO loved and accepted to be kin by people who're not related to her by blood. "
Right on. ^^ I can relate with that.
"So I will comfort you". Father, Mother, Brother, Best Friend, Master, Saviour, Husband, Lover... He is my All-in-One indeed! ;D ;D ;D ;D "
haa husband?? dear that's a erm erm i dunno ... haa *lost of words*