| Monday, May 24, 2004 |
| It's All Good =) |
Today was a good day (or rather yesterday as I write now). It started off fantastic. Before I slept (late), I thought I'd wake up feeling grouchy due to a lack of sleep. But I didn't. Woke up to the sunshine streaming through my window - I love that. They used to be shut all the time because I was stupidly afraid that at night I'd see some face at the window. Discovered recently that opening the curtains actually makes the room less dark - reflection from the Mobil station opposite. Of course I'm not scared anymore. What is there to be scared of? God is greater.
I had a full one hour to prepare myself, and I must say the process is somehow...therapeutic. Brushing teeth, washing, using the toilet, ironing, dressing, combing, packing my bag. Drank milk tea too. It's nice to be up early in the morning, especially at church.
The projectioning I was in charge of today went quite haywire due to human error and technological fault, and I felt really awful though it wasn't entirely my fault. Still, God worked. =)
Dinner with parents was good. Not just the dinner, but spending time with them, and was even looking forward to it before, which is something relatively new to me. I'm ashamed to say this, but yes, I don't show enough concern for them, even though I do really love them a lot. And in the past I'd rather be with my friends. Maybe's it's the demise of my best friend's grandma that made me think, gosh, that could be my mom or dad...and I don't want to be regretting that I could have done more when that time comes. However, I still find it a challenge to say to them that I love them verbally. In letters and cards it's easy. I don't know why I should be afraid...there would be no rejection. So what's stopping me? Even saying it to friends verbally is hard, but easier.
After dinner we went to Shop & Save. It was near closing time so there were only a few people around...suddenly I remembered that when I was younger they used to sell different kinds of processed meats like fishballs, meatballs etc and I'd be happily choosing with Mom.
I saw these flowers, and they looked kind of sad cos they'd probably been there all day, and I was struck by an urge to buy some. To take something living and watch them blossom. I wanted some symbolisation of new hope, I guess. They're beside my notebook now, blossoming and very pretty. We chose carnations, cos' Mom said carnations last longer. Dark red fading into light pink at the top of the petals, very dramatic. I looked at them and marvelled at how nature paints itself - and wondered how people can believe that all this happens all by itself. |
posted by esther @ 2:38 AM  |
|
|
|
