| Sunday, September 28, 2003 |
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Just had a 2.5 hour plus chat with Ben. I feel so weird now. He's totally cool with it, which is, well. cool. It feels so weird. He's kinda matured too, and talking about the girl he used to like and a bit about how I used to like him...it's like talking about silly things we did when we were kids. That kinda thing. Maybe it feels weird cos' on my side, the fire/spark/whatever's gone now...not my type lah. Why did I like him last time? Not my type. Was telling him how it's very weird that one could want something so much and hurt so much cos' you found out you couldn't have it, and not want it anymore now. He agreed. Well...he said he kinda had a feeling about it, and that someone told him. I think I know who it is...can't remember if I told her not to tell, which makes me a little pissed (blabbermouth!) but what the heck. It's over, it's over.
Messaged him around 6, 7 plus? saying, "Hey, erm, I just suddenly realised it's already 'next weekend'..." and he said something like just got back from Bintan, msg you when I get home. I said it was ok if he was too tired to talk. Figured that he'd probably gone to Bintan with some friends, cos' he did that last year too. Think it was Malaysia, though. Anyway. At around 12 midnight he messaged me, "Wanna talk now?" and I got a little nervous and sent an SMS to Sarah saying, "Ben just msged me. Said. Wanna talk now? AH!" Oh wait, I thought I sent it to Sarah. I'd sent it to Ben instead. Which was like so embarrassing...but aiyah. Doesn't matter lah. I was telling him, after he said that he had a feeling about it, that I kind of didn't care whether he knew or not last time.
Yeah, well, it was a nice chat. At first I thought we were gonna talk about everything else under the sun except the contents of the letter...he brought it up first. Then we'd digress, and he'd go back to it again...until finally he said, "Oh ya, you said something about some Ben?" and I was like, "Oh ya that is so embarrassing...etc etc" and he was like, "Ah? It's me ah?" Then I told him it was an accident, blah blah blah...lol.
Weeeeeeirrrrrd. I feel kinda. Ah well. There's always a first time for everything!
Had a weird dream just now while napping...dreamt that Koustav fell out with Allan...something to do with the former leaning too much on the latter??? Lol. So "......-_____-||......" right....I think it had something to do with Friday after Chem lect, when the latter was saying something like, "Qing Ying! Save meee!!" when the former was leaning all over him (again)...lol. Later I went and sat on the other side of Koustav and he tried to lean on me, but apparently, I am "too weak" so he went back to Allan... 0-0 Haha. I have weird friends. Reeeaaallly weird. Even Ben is a weirdo sometimes. Aiyoh.
Lalilalila...I have weird dreams. =P |
posted by esther @ 3:41 AM  |
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