| Thursday, July 01, 2004 |
| My Body and Me |
I think in many aspects my body is very much like me; my character, that is.
It has changed with me along the years. In fact I think what I am inside really reflects what I am outside to a certain extent. Though I don't always feel that way. Sometimes I feel ugly, inside and out. But one thing's for sure - if I feel ugly inside, most probably I won't feel pretty outside either.
I've got very sensitive skin, in all aspects. Use an unsuitable product, and whoops! It reacts. Even my scalp. There is probably only one shampoo that I've used so far that does not irritate it: Head & Shoulders. Oh, I've tried others. Clairol (the brand with the ads where the women seem to get aroused by shampooing their own hair! LOL), Loreal Elseve, etc. The latter is in fact very good, as compared to other brands, but after a few months I have to switch back to trusty ol' Head & Shoulders again. I'm also very ticklish. =P
I'm a very sensitive person, too. To the point, perhaps, of being over-sensitive at times. Sometimes I really get vibes from people, yet when I ask them, they say they're alright. I don't quite know if that's me being over-sensitive or them being too stubborn to admit their true feelings. It is as easy to make me happy as it is to make me upset; whether I show it or not is another matter. I think, though, that over the years, God has moulded me to be sensitive in the good way. =)
The other thing about me and my body: stubborn! Stubborn hair that won't be tamed completely, ever. My hair has a funny story to tell. Before 9, I had straight hair. Then, something happened when I was in Primary Three, my hair exploded. Literally. I have no idea what happened. I do know, however, that 9 was the age I found out that my aunt, my mom's blood sister, had been embezzling money from my parents' company along with my uncle (my aunt's husband). Perhaps it was the onset of puberty. How ironic. I just realised that, at the age of 9, still very much a little girl, I was forced to grow up, not just physically but internally too.
My hair would curl up at the ends whenever it grew to around ear length, such that I appeared to have 'wings' on my head. Hairdressers would attempt to control my wayward hair by snipping off those wings the curly edges, but always, they grew back. This boy I didn't even know got to calling me Maggie Mee in school. Children can be so cruel.
After a time (I can't remember how long), however, it settled down, was less crazy. Around the ages of 15 and 16 I wanted to keep my hair long, but both mother and hairdresser warned against it, saying, "If your hair is this messy when it's sort, it'll be very hard to maintain if it's long."
How wrong they all were!
At 16, I decided to be bold and daring and just grow out my hair. I've kept it long ever since. Now, I have curls and waves that are the envy of some of my friends, though people still like to ask me if I'd like to rebond my hair. Why would I want to? I've God-given curls people would pay $300 in a salon to do. So it gets frizzy quite easily (and there we come to being sensitive again). Still, I'm gonna be stubborn about it and say no.
Home-use hair-straighteners don't work on me at all. Only those super-heated hairdryers they have in salons have that effect, and only for a few hours. How do I know? Because a couple of my friends have those contraptions, and we've tried. This may seem to go against what I said earlier about not rebonding my hair, but there was a time when I hated my hair and wished for pencil-straight hair, though at that time I still loathed (like crazy) the trend of rebonding that was all the rage a few years back. And friends are always curious to know what I look like with straight hair. I don't have very tight curls, more like waves, but still. Nothing owns my hair.
To relate that to myself. I fit right nicely into the Good Girl (but far from perfect) mould. Or the Nerd mould. Or the Shy Quiet Type mould. Truth is, I have been and am still all that, though I no longer go around with a book in my nose (and all really because it was my only escape in those years), developed a sense of styly, and have much better relational skills now. Maybe I'm no longer even shy. People who know me really well like a few friends and my parents, will tell you that I'm really not all that good, shy and quiet. People who don't will be really surprised, maybe even shocked, to hear some of the things that I've said/done. Oh, my hair and nails grow really really fast too.
Haha, now I've gone and made myself sound like some kind of madly growing, hormonal monster. Bah. I'm not. I'm petite and cute. xP But don't ask me. Ask God. He made me in His image. I'm beautiful, because He is! I've found my true self in Him. Thank You, Jesus, for making me this way. |
posted by esther @ 12:52 AM  |
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