| Monday, July 05, 2004 |
| I Have a Brother |
Not my real brother of course. A brother in Christ. But on a much larger scale, we both descended from Adam and Eve, so yes, we have a common root. And certainly our spritual DNA is identical. Of course I have many brothers in Christ, but this one has a special place.
I thought he was a clown from the very start, until once he took the trouble to help me with something which touched me and made me realise that besides being a clown, he was a big nice guy. He is without doubt the funniest looking guy I've ever met, and that is in a positive sense. I'll never forget the day we had to take individual pictures in school for something, and when he sat down and practised his smile we almost started rolling around on the floor in laughter (he wasn't even trying to be funny). He is a born comedian, really. His pictures never fail to have the effect of making people laugh and/or ask, "Who's this guy????"
This is not to say that he was an unknown. Far from it. Once you've seen him, I don't think you'd remember that you have. Additionally, he is charismatic and outspoken and friendly and helpful (and did I mention funny), so it is not farfetched to say that everybody who knows him, loves him. He brightens up the lives of people like a sun with a silly grin on its face.
Yep, my brother is very special indeed. I think God grinned when He was born.
It was a common passion for God that few us close, plus a particular subject in school that was really redundant; all we did was sit and talk. Or endeavor to do work, little of which would be done.
He was my spiritual mustard tree, walking me through a rough patch in my walk with God. I can't remember what advice he gave, if indeed he gave any. But he listened. Today, I've grown such that I no longer am 'dependent' on him in a sense. Yet he is still very much a pillar of strength in my life. I would trust him with it. Once he was driving me someplace, having just acquired a driver's licence. As usual he was being funny (or trying to be) and pretended to lose control of the wheel, while I sat passively beside. "Aren't you scared?" he asked me. Why would I be? I thought. I trust you with my life. If anything happened, I know you would risk yourself to save me.
Of course he is far from perfect. Besides being funny he has a penchant for doing stupid things like throwing things at people during laboratory practical sessions (Biology and Chemistry), such as chopped vegetables or whatever we're supposed to use in the experiment itself, squirting water at people or breaking their test tubes (mine) accidentally while fooling around. He also likes to sprout a lot of nonsense, to the point where even I cannot stand him. There was, in fact, a period of time where I completely ignored him because I was so irritated by how lightly he took things that were supposed to be serious. Of course that passed. With a guy like him, you can't be mad for long. Still, I have to admit that I contributed too. Sometimes I'm the one who starts it, and before long we're shooting off 'witty barbs' at each other, which ends in me getting pissed off at our childish behavior.
I think there has always been underlying vibes in our friendship. Guys like to say stupid things to girls, and he's said his fair share of that to me. Ambiguous, joke-y statements that could mean anything. Not to mention calling me Chiobu (some dialect for Pretty Girl) for a while, though I can no longer remember why and how it started. I can think of times when, in play, we've gotten too much into each other's (physical) personal spaces too much for our own good. Not a lot, of course. I can count them all on one hand, thankfully. I've also been teased by two of his friends about him, which is weird cos' one of them isn't exactly a mutual friend. The other is. But they certainly spend far more time with him than I do.
As a friend once said, I would have fallen in love with him long ago (though I myself wouldn't say "would"; I'll say "may" given his propensity to annoy me) if not for a single reason which I won't disclose here, because it is too personal, to me as well as to him. Granted, it is not his fault nor mine. In fact nobody is to be blamed here except the spirit of dissension. And yes, I guess I'm glad (or at the very least relieved?) for this reason, though it has in the past caused me to cry bitterly (I really did) over his well-being and still bugs me to this day.
He's another of those anointed who possess the countenance of God. He is who he is today because of God, and who he is today is a very attractive and charismatic personality. And yes, I'll admit, I've found him strangely physically attractive at times. But that has certainly got to do more with his personality than his physicality, which is really...nothing much.
He's also extremely generous. I mean, he once gave me a chance to totally bankrupt him by loaning me his credit card details. Of course being the kindly soul I am, I did not. =P But ah, what power. Perhaps he only did this because it was me, just as, if I had a credit card (man...) I'd trust my best friend Sarah with it. But there has been countless other instances involving acquaintances, and he's always been generous. And not just with his money and possesions but also his time and support. He's done things for me that money could never buy.
Why am I writing about him today, and now, when I should be in bed? Well, I just realised something new about him, which touched me. Today he sent me a message telling me that he missed me a lot (The last time we met was on Good Friday). This isn't the first time that I've gotten this from him, but every time I do, I think, Hmmm. Reason being that, well. I never miss him. We keep in contact regularly by SMS and phone. To me, he's always near, praying for me and my church. Being that pillar of support. I don't need his physical presence to validate that. I know he'll always be there no matter what. I am so sure. Actually, after the redundant lessons for that redundant subject in school ended, we never really spent that much time together. Which was sad for me for a while, but since I've grown used to it. Not that I take him for granted. I love him like crazy, and thank God every time I remember him for a brother like this. Life would not be the same without him.
Yeah, there are vibes. But honestly, I don't want things to ever advance in that direction. And there seems to be some sort of unspoken agreement that no matter what vibes, we'll stand before God as brother and sister always. Is it a pity? No, no, it isn't. I say things are perfect this way. Despite the few times I've found him attractive.
I digress. Anyway, I told Sarah about this, and she said, "Isn't that his way of expressing himself?" Well, not until he was enrolled for NS! Then I realised - gosh, he could be a gigantic softie even worse than me! Wow. I've never thought of him as being exceptionally soft. I've always seen him as strong and sturdy; a tree, a pillar. But of course, that doesn't mean soft people aren't strong - I'm one myself, and I dare say I'm strong. It's simply that I've never thought of him as being...mushy soft, not like this soft. It's funny to realise this about someone after knowing him for more than 2 years.
Funny. In the past, sometimes I used to wonder if I meant as much to him as he did to me...I did tell him that, in a letter. I said it was alright, though, and I meant it. (I know there're some people I love immensely who don't love me as strongly, and it's ok, because it isn't the type of love that seeks to self-gratify.) And now here he is, going all mushy on a me. Perhaps he thought the same, until my letter cleared that. Humans are funny creatures, eh?
Hmm. So I realised today that my brother is really a big softie. What a SNAG! Lol. Still, that's all he ever will be to me: a brother. No matter what my friends (or his) say.
All's well. =) |
posted by esther @ 2:56 AM  |
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